Nobody wants to see your package: Mooseknuckle

Nobody wants to see your package. I'm serious.

I was talking with a group of my coworkers last month when a gentlemen walked by with jeans that were far too tight. As he passed by, one of the women whispered 'mooseknuckle', and everyone burst out laughing. (A 'mooseknuckle' is the male version of the female 'camel toe'; pants so tight that everyone can tell what religion you are, as well as how big your package is.)

When the moment had passed, the women at the table (still wiping their tears) agreed that 'that was gross'. Now, I would have guessed that women were interested in what a man was packing. Guys always want to see what a woman looks like naked, so I simply assumed the same was true for women.

Fastforward to last week. I was talking to a close friend and she was asking about the gym I go to. We were joking around and starting talking about the locker room. I mentioned one guy who had been strutting around naked in search of a towel, noting that he probably liked the attention as he had 'a lot to look at'. 'Gross' was her reply. I was officially confused.

So over the last week I've been very directly asking all my female friends about the mooseknuckle, and everyone of the them have agreed that women do not want to see every man's package. To be clear, women want to see their own man's package, and they care about their man's size and shape etc., its that women simply don't care about every other dick in the world. Some went so far to say 'dicks are ugly'.

So, if you're obsessing over your dick, or you're very proud of it and you want to show it off, don't bother. Wear supportive underwear, check you pants and avoid a mooseknuckle. Women will think you're more attractive if you leave something to the imagination.